Heaven and
Hell in the same aisle as the helium balloons you buy to knock some sense into the sky.

Oil for the paraffin lamp so you can write poems by the light Emily wrote by.

Umber for the moods too much like March you begin to miss by July.

Suppose you weren’t born with the genes for splicing wires or hanging chandeliers.

There’s still hope at the hardware. The same two clowns who manage this place, the General & the Saboteur, also happen to manage your psyche. One never fails. The other always has fun.

So buy the dog bone shaped like an Olmec god. The squirrel-proof bird feeder that squirrels prefer.

Order the ¼” screwlatchboltswitch that only costs 39¢ whatever the hell it’s for.

Nobody votes against hardware. Rumor says there’s a light bulb in back that burns forever.